


-Who Do I Think I Am-

by MysticSnowQueen



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Cuz Revenge Feels Sweet..., Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/M, Family Loss, Gang Violence, Gene Modification, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Mass Effect 1, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), Racism, Renegade Moments, Revenge, Theft, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Xenophobic Assholes, xenophile
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticSnowQueen/pseuds/MysticSnowQueen
Summary: Earthborn Female Shepard origin story eventual Garrus romance.Dawn's wasn't always a street rat, she had a family once... if you could even call them that. Good thing she's learned family can be people you choose.
Relationships: Female Shepard (Mass Effect)/Original Male Character(s), Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Original Turian Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very old idea I had regarding Shep's Earthborn background, if it reminds you of someone(s) from ME2... yeah that's where the idea came from. The Rating of this Fic might change. This Fic starts with racism/colorisum, the mentions of extreme gene modifications of a fetus/children. Implied death of multiple children due to experimentation. And child abandonment. ect...

Dawn didn't like the quiet, it was always quiet at home, but at least there was light. As much as mommy and daddy like to remind her that the dark was nothing to be afraid of Dawn couldn't help how she felt... the shadows mixed with the silence made her uneasy. The sounds of the rats talking to one another didn't help either.

Though she was only six Dawn wasn't an idiot she knew she was underground and that this place was abandoned... she also knew her parents weren't coming back for her.

So why was she still waiting for them to come back then? Dawn knew they had Diamond now... Diamond was perfect- the look on mommy and daddy's faces confirmed that.

She had never seen them smile so much, Dawn knew she was _made_ wrong she didn't look like mommy or daddy much, but neither did Diamond... then again Diamond has blond hair like mommy and blue eyes like daddy' her skin was also pale much more than either parents. Dawn was a golden tan her red brown unruly hair didn't match her skin and her forest green eyes reminded her of a frog.

Even if they now had Diamond, Dawn never suspected her parents would get rid of her. Dawn hadn't met many people in her short life she was mostly left in her room watching the holo TV on the wall of her room or at school. Dawn's instructors always told her how smart she was and how fast she could learn. She felt pretty dumb today remembering the last conversation she heard her parents have. The conversation that had changed her life, she would never forget it.

* * *

Her parents usually kept their distance they spent their time hosting parties and entertaining guests, or working in their lab. She would carefully crawl through the vents and listen in on them while they worked.

"Look at her dear she's perfect!"

The excited voice of her mother had shocked Dawn it was the first time she had ever heard such emotion behind her mother’s voice. Father paced around the table revealing the baby in the tank.

  
"Yes, she is splendid darling- we should have done this the first time the results are far more controlled."

"No, no, no, Dawn and the others were a huge mistake! We should have never done the modifications with a natural pregnancy, we have learn from our ignorant mistakes no use lingering in the past."

Mother disagreed with father checking the holo pad once again.

"Dawn was different from the others too."

Father replied with his reasoning voice. Always the kinder of the too, but he always gave in when it came to mother. Father continued,

"She was the only one to survive, the... esthetic complications were caused because we rushed it. We knew Working with all the different racial traits would be difficult we got too cocky for our own good. Dawn's progress in the beginning was so promising we over did the modifications."

"Like I said no point in wallowing in the past; we can clearly see the baby and her features are going to be the face of humanity and her genes are the best we have to offer. She might not be as fast as Dawn or physically fit but we have to make some sacrifices there's not much room for adjustments. We're going to have to keep a close eye on the baby's diet her metabolism is extremely slow."

"So what are we going to name her?"

Dawn remembered focusing in on the pale baby in the tank floating there with her small thumb in her mouth, her skin was wrinkled and Dawn found her to be cute she had one similarity with Dawn. Her baby sister had her nose. Dawn felt eager to hear her sister’s name, so she held her breath as her mother began to speak.

"I was thinking of Diamond Richard since our new ID's came in. Has a nice ring to it; don't you agree?"

"It's wonderful dear, finally we can be free of these pauper names and get back to our normal lives. If I ever hear the last name Smith it would be too soon. What do we do about Dawn?" Father questioned, setting down a glass vile before Turing to look at mother.

Dawn watched anxiously and wondered what they meant and why they were changing their last names.

“Dawn? We're going to continue like we planned and take her to the old museum; give her the time of her life, just like a loving parent should.”

Dawns small shoulders shrank in relief as she heard her mother’s words, the baby...her sister seemed to make her parents happy and that made Dawn love Diamond all the more for it.

Quietly crawled back through the vent to her room she couldn't stop smiling her face was sore the next morning but she still smiled. The museum had been so much fun, mother and father had been taking holo’s of the entire trip everything seemed so perfect...even when mother had given her a cold look that had stilled her heart when she had asked to go see the Greek pots again instead of seeing the old subway station.

Deep down that was the moment Dawn knew they were replacing her with Diamond Richard, who had her nose. So here she was in the dark waiting because they had said they would be right back. Sitting at the edge of the platform looking down at the empty tracks Dawn wondered why she didn't cry or beg for them not to leave her... would it have made a difference? No. Mother always follows through.

* * *

"What are ya doin here!"

Dawn jumped at the sound of a loud voice echoing off the walls of the abandoned subway station, she didn't panic seeing as the voice belonged to a little girl her age.

She was pale and dirty, her clothes were too big for her. Her hair was blond and her eyes are blue... like the sky, not the ocean; like Diamond's were.

"Are you okay?" The girl asked her voice grew softer when Dawn didn't respond.

"Are you lost? I saw you with your parents today, you’re lucky you got adopted or you would be a street rat like me, or worse you'd have to live with nasty old Grelod at the Honor Hall Orphanage." Dawn watched the girl shiver at the thought.

"I'm Wendy, did you get separated from your mom and dad?"

Dawn decided that Wendy talked a lot, she liked that... Dawn never had anyone to talk to.

"No, they left me here." Dawn replied, Wendy followed with a question of why.

"Because I'm a mistake they made me wrong."

"Ohhhhh, you're like Sam- his mom made him get green eyes and changed his curly hair. I liked the way he looked before, but you’re pretty what's your name?"

"Dawn."

"Well, if your mom and dad aren’t comin back for you; you can live here with me. I ran away from the orphanage after nasty Grelod gave me a fearsome spank'in. I didn't even eat those stinking crackers."

Wendy got up and gestured Dawn to follow after her, continuing to talk.

"Tony use to take care of me he's been teaching me how to survive and read; can you read?"

"Yes, I like to read a lot or watch TV."

  
"Tony does too... he's been gone for two days... I think he might have gotten caught stealing. The police might have him, so we can look out for each other till he gets out. Okay?"

Dawn nodded her head in agreement, what other choice did she have.  
Wendy lead Dawn to what looked like a small room located in the center of the platform.

"Home sweet home." Wendy smiled before opening the squeaky door revealing a small cluttered space.

Wendy's smile was warm and bright Dawn couldn't help but to smile back, she had just realized that was the first time anyone had truly smiled at her... a real smile not fake or forced like her parents.

"Thank you." Dawn whispered to Wendy.

"What for?"

"For being nice, and meaning it."

Wendy looked at Dawn strangely before commenting,

"Your weird, but I like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, feedback is welcomed.  
> To my fellow lurkers, I see you. It's cool. We the same.


	2. [Propinquity] Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note/ Warnings:  
> Violence, murder, gang affiliation, gore…ect.
> 
> ***Trigger Warning***  
> Scene of personal space and privacy while naked being intentionally used to intimated and abused. Threats of gang rape, and murder.  
> If you want to skip this scene, the beginning and end of it will be marked as such: (!!!!!)
> 
> Dawn’s present is in 1st person.  
> Her past as a child is in 3rd.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the 2nd chapter!
> 
> Special thanks to:magentacat1, xOSilverRavenOx, KDS1, and valeria1314151611 for leaving Kudos on the previous chapter! So Thank you all!
> 
> And thanks for reading!

His head exploded in a mist of red, white and pink matter. Blood. Skull. Brain. The sight of it was numbing as usual- no it was a reinforcement- a testament that stated loudly.

I AM STILL ALIVE. And my enemy was not- his body heat now rapidly cooling in the blood drenched snow.

It was late and I had spent far too much time looking for this little thief, the slippery bastard had given me the turn around a few times. I knelt down and began to search his pockets for the data chip it was alien in design- turian maybe? Light weight, sturdy. Scanning with my omni-tool to confirm that the data was still intact, I sighed in relief.

It was time to go, I holstered my weapon and grabbed the thief’s gun from his stiffening hands tossing the hunk of junk deeper into the woods and began my slow limb back to my motorcycle a few blocks away. A few flesh wounds wouldn’t keep me from riding my bike back to the compound safely.

The ride back was quick the only sounds bouncing off the streets was the humming of my engine and the late night ramblings of the sand blasted snorters walking off their latest hit. This part of the city was a wasteland though no one expected much from the people here and since the discovery of element zero and the advancement of the human race, well the people who were fortunately well off never bothered to look down at those less fortunate. So lawlessness was a common theme as long as we didn’t bring the crime to the shiny parts of the city; nothing was wrong.

At least not in their eyes.

“Your back late… did you get it?” Helm thought he looked so cool smoking from that stupid chipped pipe.

“Would I be here if I didn’t?” I moved to walk past him only to be stopped by one of his random goons; too low on the totem pole to realize who he just stepped in front of.

“Move. Before I move you.”

“Give me the data drive Smith. I’m second in command here and it’s time you started to respect that.” Helm stated from behind me inhaling another long puff of smoke from that ridiculous pipe.

“You’re not second- you’re Brett’s cousin; he can’t trust you to wipe your own ass let alone with intel. Intel that was stolen under your watch; that I had to go retrieve- because we all know you’re too incompetent to even try to fix your own messes.” I pushed pass his goon, following up with biotic throw as he grabbed my shoulder- sending him flying towards the concrete wall of the compound. I ignored his cry of pain and continued on.

Brett’s door was closed and the sound of club music bled past it, I knocked hard hoping it would get his attention.

“Busy!” a feminine voice called out.

“Brett, we need to talk.” I called through the door, I stood back as I began to hear shuffling from inside. A few moments later the door opened revealing a shirtless Brett in grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His skin was glistening in perspiration and his voice was slightly breathless and he spoke, leaning is body against the door way.

“We’ll talk later-hand it over.” He stated impatiently looking over his shoulder at the blond in his bed.

“This can’t wait, something is off-“

“Smith. Now.”

I pulled the data disk from my pocket and slapped it into his outstretched hand.

“Give me ten seconds.” He sighed,

“Go.”

“I think Helm gave the data disk to the thief I killed. I found a data pad that-“

“Stop!” Brett looked livid. “I get that you don’t care much for Helm- but he’s my blood and he wouldn’t do something like that! I’m gonna let this slide because your useful, an asset. But… you better keep your mouth shut about Helm. Got it?!” he questioned pointing his finger just below my nose.

“Yeah.” I dejectedly agreed. He wasted no time slamming the door in my face. Maybe I was wrong only time would tell, and hell it was only money- it’s not like Helm was trying to take over the 10th Street Reds- as if he could. I paused, pulling the data pad from the back of my pants- and cautiously slipped it under the door before heading to my room.

Light flooded through the cracks of the door, I gently pushed it open to find Wendy laying back on her bed watching a vid.

“Hey sister.” I softly called out heading straight for my bed, glad to sit down and finally remove my shoes.

“Hi sister! How’d it go?” her blue eyes connected with mine concern crept onto her face at the blood she could spot on my shirt.

“Went… as expected.”

Silence filled the room- Wendy didn’t approve of me being a gunner, we had both started out as thieves. Snatching chits and tech anything valuable we could get our little hands on.

Things had changed though as we got older- the reds didn’t need thieves as much. So we joined the other girls at 13 in the illegal business of selling our bodies for money. I had done it a few times, before the attack on the compound by our rival gang Triple6DD (Dare Devils). Wendy and I called them the TD squad.

First time I ever used a gun, and I was a crack shot- apparently. Brett decided in his words, ‘you don’t have to spread those legs anymore.’ I had better skills that needed to be put to use.

That was a year ago, and Wendy hated what I did. Killing people- having blood on my hands, but we’re still sister’s. Not by blood but by commitment since that day in the abandoned subway.

“How about you? How’d work go?” I wiggled my toes once they were freed from my shoes.

“Same old shit- got a huge tip from my usual John- you know the one with half his face cut up to shit…100 credits. Crazy right. Poor guy.”

“Yeah, too bad the blade was dipped in acid. He ever tell you who did it?”

“Nah, tight lipped as usual.”

“You and Tony talk it out yet?” Wendy rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration.

“Don’t start.”

“You guys need to make up already- didn’t he apologize?”

“Yeah but, can you really apologize after calling someone a whore?”

“He didn’t mean it, he was just mad you didn’t decide to work with him in transporting.” I tried to reason, with her but the constant shaking of her head didn’t let up.

“He can’t keep pulling strings and carrying my weight- he didn’t have an issue with you prostituting.”

“Yeah, well Tony doesn’t like, like me—”

“Shut—UP!”

The tossed pillow fell to reveal me happily grinning at her discomfort.

“It’s true and you know it, it’s not like you’re related. Yolo. Think about it!” I tossed her pillow back at her before grabbing my towel and flip-flops and heading to the shared compound bathroom.

“Gross!” Wendy yelled out, “Can you use slang from this generation please.”

“NEVER!!!”

* * *

The tub was filled up with cheap lavender bubbles, I had hacked the door lock for some privacy and lit a few candles while I waited for the water to fill the tub.

This was joy number 4… a nice bath after a tough day.

I let out a moan as I sunk down into the warm suds, my muscles beginning to relax. Pairing my ear buds to my Omni tool, I selected my favorite playlist- closed my eyes and zoned out to the music.

My thoughts kept going back to the kid in the snow- the blood, the carnage of it all.

Deep down I knew one day that would be me. Dead in some ditch; no one who would care enough to come looking for me other than Wendy and Tony.

The years had not been kind to us.

\-------Flashback------

"Wendy!" A voice called out waking Dawn from the taunting dreams of her parent’s joyful face when looking at Diamond.

Turning look at Wendy's blanket only to find it empty... Dawn felt a rush of panic before she heard her voice.

"Tony!"

Dawn's first week in the subway station had been rough she missed her bed and bath time. Wendy spent the first few days talking about her past or trying to cheer Dawn up.

She learned that Wendy never knew her parents and had lived in the orphanage since she was a baby, till she ran away from the caretaker.

Wendy told her about Tony too and how he saved her when she was caught stealing from a store. Tony had just walked over and reprimanded her claiming her as his sister and paying for the stolen food. Since then he was always looking after Wendy.

Dawn could hear the excitement in her voice as the slightly older boy came into view, deciding to stay hidden she listened in on their conversation.

"Hey Wendy, I'm so sorry I was gone for so long, probably thought I got arrested huh?" Dawn could hear the playfulness in his voice as Wendy giggled before replying.

"Yah I did; but guess what Tony I got a new friend!!" Dawn's heart froze at the joy in Wendy's voice... was that for her?

At that moment Dawn could feel her heart expand this was what the vids explained about love and caring for someone, Wendy cared...she was the first to do so, and in that moment Dawn decided to forget about home and her parents and even Diamond Richards; who had her nose and probably her old room too.

Having a friend and the warm feeling it gave her was better than a warm bed, a full belly and clothes that didn't smell like poop.

She was going to be best friends with Wendy, she would never throw her away or make her feel worthless. That was a promise.

"Hey kid, are you okay." Dawn looked up surprised at Tony's questioning face.

"Wendy told me what happened to you; how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine' Wendy took care of me."

Tony smiled at that while Wendy beamed at the comment.

She could see that Tony was about 13 or so he had black hair and silver colored eyes, he wore a soft smile on his face which was also really red and cover in sweat.

“Dawn I know this might make you sad, but are you sure your parents left you here on purpose?"

"Yes. They have Diamond now; they said I was a mistake along with the other ones but, they all died." Dawn wondered if she had said something wrong when Tony got this disgusted look on his face, before playfully ruffling her hair.

"Well, you don't need those stupid parents; someone should tell them to get corrective surgery on their eyes, I don't see how anyone could see you as a mistake."

"So she can stay with us right Tony!"

"Wendy I joined up with the Red's I only asked them if I could bring you... but, I guess I'll just have to bring you both. I'm sure once Brett sees you both he won't have the heart to turn you away."

\------End Flashback------

Brett hadn’t had the heart to turn me away back then, but it had been extra hard on Tony. Some of the guys had called him a liar and attempted to beat him up. Two extra mouths to feed wasn’t something most of the gang was okay with.

The sound of the door opening took me away from my thoughts as my eyes shot open turning, mouth open ready to cuss out who ever had dared—it was Brett.

**( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )**

The hot bath water suddenly felt like ice, the scowl on his face already dictated the outcome of this conversation. I tried not to wince as the data pad hit the side of my face before falling past the bubbles and into my lap.

Brett sat down on the toilet lid beside the tub, elbows resting on his thighs as he leaned forward.

My breath hitched as Brett dipped his hand into the bath water, then flicking the droplets and suds at my face. The candles popped and flickered in the background—deafening— in the silence of the room. Brett reach forward and removed my ear buds tossing them to the floor.

I hated these moments, I didn’t know if I should or could speak. Wait for him to? My eyes were fixated on the bubbles before me watching as each one slowly began to pop; they sounded like semi soggy rice krispies that had sat for too long.

“Look at me.” Brett’s voice was hushed, slightly strained and on edge.

“LOOK AT ME!”

More water was flung at my face, my eyes stung from the soap but I had finally forced myself to look at him in the eyes.

His deep brown eyes, that had once been kind…he was disillusioned with the world now. Helm was all he had—I’m so stupid—

“What did I say to you about Helm? Hum? What!”

“To keep my mouth shut.” I said evenly.

“Then why THE FUCK—did you slide this under my door.” Brett questioned pointing down at the sunken data pad in my lap.

“I’m just trying to look out for you—like you did for me.” It sounded pathetic even to my ears, he didn’t need a 14 year old looking out for him. Over petty theft at that…

“If it was anyone else wouldn’t you have wanted me to tell you what I found? I know Helm is your blood but—”

“What do you know about blood, huh... you don’t listen Smith.” He shook his head breaking eye contact looking down at the chipped bathroom tiles.

“That it can’t always be trusted or given the benefit of the doubt—”

The next moment my vision blurred to black and a sharp pain ran across my left brow as water filled my lungs and the perfume taste of lavender took over my senses as my body fought—I fought to lift my head up and drink in air.

Brett’s hand forcefully tugged my head back up his fist wrapped around my wet strands. I was able to cough up some water only to be immediately thrusted back under again.

I couldn’t breathe, and when my biotics flared Brett ripped the amp from the interface port at the base of my skull. Even under water I could hear voices just outside the door.

Just as my consciousness began to fade, Brett pulled on my hair taking me away from my watery grave. As my lungs hacked up water and soap bubbles popped from my mouth and nose, my body convulsing to expel the offensive liquid.

In a low deadly voice Brett whispered; “Don’t think I won’t let every guy in this compound run a train on you before putting a bullet in your head.”

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

“You’re usefulness can easily be replaced. You go where I tell you. You do what I tell you. When I tell you to do it. Don’t make me open my motherfucking mouth about this again.”

I couldn’t answer and he didn’t need me to, as he made his way to the bathroom door casually turning he dropped a quick smile, before his eyes turned to steel.

“Clean this fucking mess up would you.” He slammed the door on his way out his voice carried from down the hall, I shuttered as I could hear him casually laugh and greet passersby like nothing happened.

The lavender bubbles were mostly gone, the water was tinged pink and my knees felt bruised from the position I was forced into. I was naked and exposed. My eyes searched the now watery tiled floor, before landing on the device just beside the foot of the tub, scooping it up I pushed the water proof amp back into place.

My blood was dripping from my brow into the water, but I’m still alive—I’m still breathing.

For now.

* * *

Wendy didn’t say a word as crawled my way into bed a fresh Band-Aid with some medi-gel plastered onto my eyebrow. It looked like it was going to scar.

I faced the wall—we laid in silence for a few minutes before Wendy broke it with a hushed whisper.

“We can run… you, me and Tony. We can just go—you know I’ve wanted to go. For a long time.”

“They’ll kill us. Track us down, rape you and me. Cut Tony to bits, and drop us in ditches. We won’t get far.”

“We haven’t tried. Shouldn’t we at least try?” her voice cracked, the unfairness of it all was always a heavy weight on her shoulders.

“I would do it, if I could make sure you were safe—get you off of Earth. You would fit right in on the Citadel, I could totally see you in those long cut off dresses they wear there.” We softly chuckled at that image.

“You would fit in too…”

“No, I wouldn’t—”

“Yes, you WOULD! You’re not expendable. You’re my sister…and we should leave.”

“Go to sleep Wendy, and pray we wake up tomorrow cuz if anyone hears this conversation were dead.”

I fell asleep trying to picture myself in one of those dresses, behind a desk taking calls as a receptionist. It felt out of place my 14 year old body in that attire looked ridiculous; but I couldn’t imagine myself any older then I was now.

* * *

The week passed by in a blur, the stares from the other gang members were finally starting to die down though Helm’s smirk was permanently plastered on his face. He suspiciously hadn’t said anything or rubbed what had happened in my face.

Brett was unusually out of the compound for the whole day—and I was now being passed over for jobs. It was a nice break to be honest but, I knew it wouldn’t last. Just in the last few days, 5 of our gun shipments had been stolen, word was that the TD squad was responsible.

“Sister!” I hugged Wendy as she made her way through the compounds double doors with Tony following behind.

“Oh, hey Tony.”

“Get over here you little brat.” Tony playfully pulled me into a head lock and tussled my hair—now cut short enough not to be grabbed.

“Oh, hey Tony~ that’s all I get? Huh—where’s my hug?”

I turned around in his hold facing him while exaggerating a reluctant hug; crying out as he began to tickle my sides. Tony didn’t torture me for long.

“Wendy wanted to see if you wanted to go get something to eat in the city—my treat apparently.”

“You make more money than the both of us—plus we paid last time it’s your turn Mr.” Wendy teased poking at his bicep.

“Ohh yes! I’ll grab my coat, I’m starving.”

“You just ate!” Robin yelled from across the room.

“Shut up! I’m a growing biotic.”

***

Tony drove us into the high class section of the city, his beat up sky car stood out among the shiny newer models. He brought the car down next to a well kept old fashion pizza place, snuggled between a high rise apartment complex and a shared office building. My eyes landed on a man casually taking a call with his feet kicked up on the desk while stretching back against his office chair.

The sun seemed to have perfectly set right on his window…he was only a little older than Tony.

“Here we are, most authentic pizza in the city!” Tony made a big show of gesturing his arm towards the building while Wendy excitedly clapped cringing as my face dropped at their display.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Come on lets go inside.” Wendy encircled her arms around mine, and Tony did the same on the left. I protested as they dragged me to the pizza shop.

Once we were seated and had ordered our food I broke the casual awkward talk between the two.

“I love that you two have made up and resolved the issues you two were having— but why did you guys drag me here? The pizza at Gio’s is way better then this vat grown crap, DON’T bullshit me.” I said point my finger at both of them.

“We’re leaving the Reds.” Wendy whispered as if the devil himself could hear her.

“Thanks.” I stated as the waitress placed the pizza in the middle of our table.

I dug right in the hot greasy, melted cheese and tangy tomato sauce burned the roof of my mouth but, I continued on chewing ignoring the two frozen idiots sitting in front of me as they waited for a response.

“Dawn? Did you hear us?” Tony’s feet shuffled under the table and Wendy’s were bouncing up and down.

“You two are insane— they will KILL us.”

“Let me explain why this will work. Helm IS double crossing Brett; the idiot wants to take over the Red’s—”

“And you think he capable of of actually doing that— that must be why Brett was so angry… he looked at the data disk and he’s been out of the compound so much that—”

“Dawn. He never looked at the data pad. The blond with him, I spoke to her… he flipped out as soon as he saw it and went straight for you.” Wendy reached out to hold my hand across the table but, I pulled away before she could.

“I’m okay, I’m not traumatize.”

“You shaved your head! Have a baseball sized bruise on your forehead and your eyebrow is scared… You were naked when he did all of that. — You’re NOT okay.” Tony slammed his hand down on the table, which instinctively made me look to the shop owner but, he turned away as soon as our eyes connected a brief look of pity crossed his face.

“Sorry.” Tony lowered his voice to a whisper as I held back tears— I was embarrassed and ashamed. I was back in the bathroom. The smell of lavender filled my nostrils triggered by the memory. I took a huge bite of the slice in front of me and focused on the taste hoping to pull myself from the memory of that event.

“He didn’t look at the data pad?”

“No, sorry.”

“So why do you guys think leaving will work?”

“Jason over heard Helm and Vic talking about talking out Brett.”

“Vic as in—”

“Yes. From the TD Squad.” Wendy cut Tony off from replying.

“Why do you guys call them that? What does it even mean?”

Wendy made an uncomfortable sound, talking about her role in the reds always caused tension with Tony.

“Some ‘working’ girls have slept with those guys and the 3 main guys, Vic, Leon and Charlie are said to all have micro penises- running joke tiny dick squad.”

Tony rolled his eyes but, the slight twitch in the corner of his upper lip betrayed him.

“Why would Helm trust Vic to not kill him too? Gangs don’t merge— like ever.”

Tony leaned in, “Cuz they've been fucking that’s why.”

“And you’re sure Jason’s good on this information? What… what if this is a set up… for me.”

Tony shook his head, “It’s not, Jason's been making plans for a while now— when it goes down he’s hacking the reds account, taking as much as he can before he splits. He’s going off world.”

Space.

I felt a familiar tug in my gut… the stars had always enamored me. It was like a siren’s call to a sailor— only I was ship-less cursed to shore.

“Helms an idiot— what about the other compounds of the reds? He plan to take them out too? And if we go through with this they might think were involved. This is not a good idea. No. Were not doing this.” It was smart to reject the plan; it wasn’t a very good one. Too many what ifs.

Wendy and Tony shared a look with each other, it was brief look but, it said a lot. I mentally braced myself for what was to come next.

“We are doing this— with or without you. Sis… I’m tired and I want out. This is a chance— a real chance.” Wendy took my hands wrapping hers around mine her grip was tight as her voice cracked with emotion.

“Please Dawn, please do this with us… let’s live and stop just surviving.” Wendy’s eyes were shining with tears unashamed as they fell down her face.

I sighed returning her grip, while Tony pulled napkins from the dispenser dabbing at Wendy’s red cheeks; she giggled at his attention but, her eyes still locked with mine.

“Well if you’ve put your foot down, I guess I can’t say no huh.”

“Nope you can’t.”

Wendy got up from her seat our hands parting, I opened my arms for the hug that I knew was coming. Though I knew in my gut that this wouldn’t end well, I pushed the feeling down.

We didn’t care much for the pizza but, we ate it all anyways and quietly went over our own plan for our great escape form the red’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now folks, hope you enjoyed!


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